When Tomorrows Become Yesterdays
by Schuyler
Summary: RENTfic. Roger finally hits it big in the music industry. But with all his newfound glory, will he lose what's really important to him? Read/Review Please!
1.

Mimi Marquez hummed the opening chords of the oh-too-familiar song that her boyfriend had been playing nonstop.Filtering through a rack at the Salvation Army, Mimi noticed a cute top and stopped humming.When she leaned in for a closer inspection, she realized that the song she had just been humming under her breath could still be heard, and much louder than it had been seconds before.

She straightened up right away and blinked her brown eyes; gripping the rack so hard her knuckles were turning a deathly shade of white.It couldn't be…

"Your eyes….as we said our goodbyes…"Roger's voice flowed through the shoddy P.A. system in the tiny store. 

Mimi's breath caught in her throat.An excited smile covered her shocked face as she released the shirt, letting it flutter to the floor."He did it…" she said softly, her hands trembling.

*****

"I DID IT!" screamed Roger Davis, dancing triumphantly around the loft with a portable radio displayed proudly over his head.He was smiling so hard he thought his face would crack.Leaping from the couch to the small coffee table, he performed a small jig of delight.

Mark Cohen snatched the radio away and pushed his glasses up onto his face more."If you keep dancing around like that, you'll give yourself an aneurysm and you won't be able to enjoy your newfound fame…"

"SHHHH!" hissed Roger, turning up the volume on the larger stereo.

"For the love of Jehovah," exclaimed Mark."You act like this is the first time you've heard your song."

Roger sighed with happiness as the closing chords faded into another song."It is the first time I've heard it…on the radio anyway…Marky boy, I'm on my way to the big time…"

"Pick up a carton of milk on your way there," murmured Mark distractedly, twisting a reel on his rickety camera.

Roger was just about to lecture Mark about being a good friend when a sudden clatter of noise was heard outside.The sound of clunky boots slamming up the stairs echoed throughout the hallway.

"ROGER!" screamed Mimi, swinging the rusty loft door open with one bound."I was in the Salvation Army and I…I…"

The musician raced over to the door and took the tiny woman into his arms, swinging her around and showering her with kisses."I did it…" he whispered into her ear."And it's all thanks to you…"

Mimi, breathless from her nonstop marathon through the streets of Greenwich Village, could only nod and bury her face in Roger's shoulder."I'm so proud of you…" she said eventually, still short of air.

*****

Then the performances began.

Mimi found herself at home alone more than she would have liked.She could set her watch to the routine that they began to follow.Night after night, Roger packed up his guitar.Then Mimi would stand by the door with a melancholy face.Roger would kiss her like a good puppy and disappear until the next morning.

"Can't I come to CBGB's tonight?" she would ask, pouting her lips as he closed his case.

"Maybe tomorrow night…" he would always answer."Not tonight, Mimi…" Then he would pull on his jacket and smile at her."Tomorrow…"

Tomorrows came and went, turning into yesterdays.Mimi would lie awake and stare blankly at the empty bed beside her.In bouts of frustration, she would pull the pillow over her head and sob helplessly.

"I wish…I wish that song was never written…" she cried to herself one night."I wish…I wish I DID die…"

*****

The tapping of Roger's boots faded away as he disappeared down the loft stairs.Mimi angrily slammed the door behind him and burst into tears, bits and pieces of their conversation reemerging in her head.

"Can't I come to CBGB's tonight?" she pleaded.

"Not tonight," snapped Roger, stringing a new string onto his guitar.He no longer made the promise of another day.Just not tonight. Never tonight.

Mimi pouted and her lip started to tremble."Please stay home then," she whispered."I barely ever see you anymore."

Roger's blue eyes glazed over angrily."You want me to just skip a performance?Mimi, I just fucking hit the big time and you want me to skip a performance because you haven't seen me in a while?"

Taking a few steps back, Mimi's eyes overflowed with tears."I miss you…you're always gone…"

"I'm always out living my dream!" yelled Roger, standing up and jerking his coat on."I finally found my song and hell, even some glory to go with it!If you can't deal with performances every night…"

Mimi's blood boiled."It's NOT JUST PERFORMANCES!" she screamed, her entire body quivering as she held the table for dear life."On your off nights, you don't even stay home!You go out with your new musician friends and you get trashed!When is the last time you talked to Mark or Collins?"

"I talk to them all the time!" lied Roger.In all honestly, he'd barely heard from the filmmaker or the scholar in weeks.

"Look at the answering machine, Roger!" cried Mimi."16 messages from them—combined.Even some from Maureen and Joanne too.But you haven't looked at any of them…you're forgetting us…all of us…" Her voice grew small and weak.

"I'm not forgetting anything," said Roger icily."Except my selfish girlfriend who won't let me have my moment in the sun…"

Mimi closed her eyes and took a few breaths."Forget I mentioned it…okay?Go to your performance and when they're all over, we can have our time…" She reached out to hold him.

Roger pulled away coldly. "No.I won't stop performing.After this string of performances ends, I'm touring around the East Coast with some other bands."His hand tightened on his guitar case.

Mimi blinked.The coldness, the mean nature…it wasn't her Roger there."You're touring?For how long?"

"Six months.And I'm going alone."

"W-What?" Mimi felt like someone had punched her in the stomach."What are you saying?"

Roger sighed annoyedly and put down his guitar case."I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, Mimi." 

"Tell me what?"Mimi implored tearfully, even though deep inside her she already knew the answer.

Inhaling sharply, Roger put his hands on her shoulders. "This isn't working out, Mimi.With my new career…you're just…I love you, Mimi…but you're holding me back from all that the future holds for me." 

It took Mimi a few minutes to comprehend what Roger had been saying to her."You're dumping me?" she exclaimed, her eyes filling up with hot tears that dripped down her face.

Roger looked at his watch."It's for the best.Look, I'm late…I should be home sometime on Sunday night…we can talk about this then…"

"NO!" she screamed."We can talk about this right now!"

But they didn't talk about it then.Roger simply packed up his guitar and walked out calmly, like a cowboy strolling into the sunset.Mimi collapsed onto the floor and curled into a ball, sobbing so hard her insides hurt.

*****

She didn't know how long she had been lying there, but she was sure of the fact that her beeper had gone off at least three times.

"Three missed doses," she croaked to herself, opening her eyes weakly."Better take it now…"

A sudden fit of coughing stopped her from sitting up.Her head spun and her throat ached.A wave of shock hit her as she realized the god-awful truth.

She had a fever.

And she had forgotten to take her AZT.

Mimi sputtered and coughed, unable to move from her balled up position._What do I do? _Her mind hollered at her.Her brown eyes nervously scanned the room until they fell onto the phone.

_But who can I call? Roger?Yeah right…Mark? No.Collins? Does Collins even have a phone number?Or a phone?Maureen and Joanne? No._Mimi crawled slowly over to the phone and picked it up.

You're going to call the only person you could ever really trust…the only person that offered to help you in your time of need…the only one that was ever there for you…

Mimi's shaky fingers dialed and she slumped back against the wall, listening to the soft rings.Two rings…three…four….five…

A sudden click and a greeting let Mimi know that he connection was open.She opened her mouth and her raspy voice seeped out.

"B-Benny? It's Mimi…"

TO BE CONTINUED…Please read and review…


	2. 

"I'm sorry," Mimi murmured helplessly as Benny wrapped her in blankets and mopped her forehead with a cool cloth.She closed her eyes. "I just didn't know who else to call…I don't want to get you in trouble with Alison again…"

"Shhh," Benny crooned softly, wiping the sweat off her brow and handing her a glass of water."You didn't get me in trouble…and don't worry about Alison.My main concern is that you get better…and you will, Mimi."He grinned confidently and handed her some of her medicine."Take your AZT…"

Mimi gulped down her pills and nodded her thank-you."I owe you my life," she said earnestly."You saved me…and you didn't write a stupid, world-famous song about it," she couldn't help adding bitterly.

"I can't believe Roger would do that to you…" Benny shook his head as he got up, pacing angrily around the loft."He was so lucky to get you for keeps, Mimi.And he does this when his song hits the charts?Does he even remember that YOU were the inspiration for the song?"Benny clenched his fists and growled audibly.

She couldn't help but smile."You're getting so worked up over this…"

"How could I not?" he cried."I can't stand to see you treated this way…you deserve so much better.Not some rock and roll snot-nosed punk who thinks he's Tommy Lee or James Hetfield!"

Mimi folded her hands neatly in her lap and stared at her fingers.She knew this was all Roger's fault and she should hate him."I know…he was wrong…but I love him Benny…"

Benny shook his head, enraged."Mimi, snap out of it!You're a beautiful, sexy, intelligent, charming girl who can have whatever she wants…you've got pretty eyes, a wonderful smile, a great complexion…" He blinked."A great complexion that's getting pale…Mimi, are you alright?"

But before Benny could get his final inquiry out, Mimi's eyes had shut…and her arm fallen helplessly over the couch, pointing to the floor.

_Your eyes…as we said our goodbyes…_

_ _

__******

"Did you get in touch with him?" Benny demanded, slamming his coffee down on the hospital's weak coffee table.

Mark winced at his being yelled at."No, he's not at CBGB's and he's not at the loft.I even tried his new cell phone.Either he doesn't have it on, or he doesn't know how to work it." Mark nervously fiddled with his camera. "And my guess is that he doesn't know how to work it."

Benny stood up."That bastard…" he muttered, making a fist with his right hand and clawing the wall with the left."He just up…up and LEFT HER.AGAIN!And this time, no freaking one-hit wonder is going to bring her back…"

"Easy, easy," soothed Collins, placing his hands on Benny's shoulders and easing him down into his seat again."Roger will come…"

******

But Roger never came.

He never returned Mark's messages.He never returned Collins' phone calls.He never responded to letter after letter Benny sent him.And he never came back to he and Mimi's loft.

Newspapers and television reports were the only way they could see him.The great Roger Davis, with his hit "Your Eyes" climbing the national charts to #1.Playing on the Late Show with David Letterman.Appearances on radio shows and Howard Stern.

Sometimes he called Mark to ask him about something he left in the loft.

He called Collins when he was appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire".(He lost at $500).

He even called Maureen and Joanne to ask for legal advice.

But he hadn't spoken to Mimi since their last fight four months before.

Not that he could have reached her in the loft, anyhow.Mimi was getting weaker and weaker.The disease was winning the battle.She had to quit her job at the club; she was too weak to dance.Her diet consisted of anything that would stay in her stomach.Her weight dropped to less than 100 pounds, and her limbs were so thin she looked like a Holocaust victim.She was so weak that she had to move in with Benny in a small apartment near Fifth Avenue.She was miserable all the time.Except when she saw Roger or heard his song.Then a tiny smile would cover her face and those eyes that Roger had sung so beautifully about turned from dull to shining.

She had six months, at the max.

.

But Roger never called her back.He had forgotten her.


	3. The Confrontation

"Okay sweetheart…sit up….it's time for you to take your AZT…"

Benny hoisted Mimi up gently onto his lap and stroked her brown curls."Open up…" he urged her gently as he popped the pills into her mouth."Mark, want to hand me that cloth over there?"

Mark, who had before been stupefied into silence, leaped into action and handed Benny the cloth.The filmmaker was astonished at how Mimi's condition worsened since Roger's departure six months before.She was 75 pounds at the most, and her tiny frame was racked with coughing fits that caused her to double over in pain.Always the observer, Mark watched Mimi wearily lean her head on Benny's shoulder and close her brown eyes.

"Alright, you're tired…" Benny eased her down onto the bed and tucked the blankets tightly around her."Come on, Mark…let's have a drink in the living room or something…"

Mark had by this time whipped out his camera and was filming the entire thing.An idea was formulating in his mind."Just a few more minutes…" he said softly, panning slowly to catch every inch of Mimi's fragility.

"Mark, stop that!" Benny exclaimed in amazement."What the hell are you doing?"

Mark obediently flipped the off switch on his camera."Just a little clip…Benny, she looks awful…"

Benny sighed and led Mark into the living room."She's come a long way…everyday she asks me about Roger.How is his song doing?Have you heard from him?Is he performing nearby?"He shook his head."She just can't get over him, Mark.As hard as I try, she just won't move on."

Mark rewound and watched his footage.Rage began to boil in the normally easygoing filmmaker as he saw the formerly bright, happy, no-day-but-today Mimi become a fragile little girl who could barely eat on her own.And it was all because of Roger.Mark slammed the player shut and gritted his teeth.

"This isn't over, Benny…keep the phone line open."

Benny heated a water bottle for Mimi."What are you talking about Mark?" he asked confusedly.

Mark pulled on his coat."I can't stand idly by anymore.For once in my life, I'm going to stand up for someone."

*****

"Mr. Davis?" squeaked the wary voice of Anna, Roger's personal assistant.She peeked her face into Roger's dressing room, to find him tuning his guitar."You have someone here to see you…"

Roger looked up from his guitar."Is it my agent?"

"No, sir.It's a Mr. Cohen…"

Roger blinked. "Mark Cohen?Mark is here?" He put the instrument back in its case and stood up."Send him in…wow, it's been six months since I've seen that crazy cat…"He smiled, excited for a happy reunion.

Anna moved aside to let the diminutive blonde boy in.He had a look of determination on his usually nervous face.

"MARK!" cried Roger, approaching him."Man, it's been so long!"

"Too long, in fact." Mark's voice was cold."Before I say anything else, I want to apologize in advance."

"For what?"

Inhaling sharply, Mark reared back and with whatever strength he had, he socked Roger in the jaw.All the anger, all the rage, all the sympathy for Mimi was in that punch, and the force of it knocked Roger flying. "This," Mark snapped.

Roger tumbled back into a chair."WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" he screamed.

Mark suddenly realized what he had done.Normally fear would have taken over, and maybe a marathon to China, but he stood his ground."It was for Collins.And Maureen and Joanne. And me.And Mimi.Especially Mimi."He stomped over to where Roger was nursing his face and opened the player on his camera."I want to show you something…"

"What is your problem?" Roger hissed."Mimi and I broke up.It's better this way.I'm fine, she's fine."

"She's FINE?" Mark yelled."Do you call this fine?"He pressed the play button and the image of Mimi, sickly and pale flashed up before Roger's eyes.Benny spoon feeding her, fluffing her pillows, tucking her in, holding her hair as she vomited.

Roger's cold eyes softened at this sight."What happened to her…" he whispered."She was fine when I left…"

Mark snapped the player shut."You did this to her.You left her and she was so shattered that she stopped eating.She got sick.The disease is killing her.She's got two months left, tops.She's dying, and YOU'RE killing her."

Roger stared at his hands."She's with Benny now?"

Mark laughed scornfully."He wishes.Benny just is a friend who takes care of her, day in day out.He bought her and himself an apartment so he could watch her all the time.HE cares about her, which is hardly what I can say for you."

Standing up sharply, Roger got up in Mark's face."Who the hell are you to say I don't care about Mimi?"

Mark's knees started knocking in fear."I'm a friend.Someone who knows you haven't called her, or visited her, and even checked in with her in six months.You left her again."

"You just don't get it!" hollered Roger, knocking music sheets off the table.It was very rare that MARK was the one to tell him he was wrong.It was usually the other way around."This is my dream Mark!I have money, and fans.I have a dressing room and a personal assistant and performances booked until April!I'm rich and famous because of my song!"

Mark gripped his camera."Fine.Enjoy your success.But lest you forget WHY you wrote that fucking song.You wrote it for Mimi.All those thousands upon thousands of girls who think you're singing to them about their eyes…they're just as blind as you are.So keep your dressing room and your performances.And go on forgetting about the girl whose eyes got you here in the first place.Because she's got people who care about her.And she doesn't need you anymore.I'll see you when your song leaves the charts."

With every ounce of courage Mark had left, he threw his scarf over his shoulder and stomped out, slamming the door behind him.

Roger stared at the door for a long time.A single tear trickled down his cheek at the remembrance of seeing Mimi sick.And it was all his fault.She was his one-song glory.Her eyes brought him here, and pretty soon they'll close forever because of him.The realization of it all hit him hard.

Roger sat down.He numbly picked up his guitar and started to strum it."I should tell you…I have always loved you…you can see it in my eyes…"

Bowing his head in his hands, Roger started to cry.


	4. Thoughts

Keep breathing but I can't breathe I can't feel my heart beating anymore everything is spinning circles circles circles it's 

Keep breathingbut I can't breathe I can't feel my heart beating anymore everything is spinning circles circles circles it's so hot I'm so hot my eyes are burning my eyes my eyes the ones that took you by surprise why can't I breathe anymore I'm so dizzy I can't feel my heart because it's not hereRoger Roger Roger where are you I can't breathe anymore it's too hard your eyes your eyes I love you Mimi love Mimi Benny wasn't any—I know your eyes your eyes your eyes circles circles smack disease today for you Roger I can't breathe without you everything is spinning Bennyjump over the moon take me out tonight circles…circles…spinning….another day….light my candle…no Angel will stop me this time…

_ _

_Now everything is black._

_ _

******

Two weeks after Mark's visit, "Your Eyes" left the charts for good.Roger was dismissed from his record company, his performances were cancelled, and all the little luxuries he had dreamed of for so long were taken away.He knew he only had one home left.And one person to go home to.

Packing up his things, he headed back to the loft.

Mark heard the door open from the kitchen."Well, well, well," he chuckled sarcastically."The big rock star has come home.Shall I scatter rose petals all over your bed so you can sleep better?"

Roger winced at the tone of Mark's usually nervous voice.Was that how he was really seen?"No…" he drawled."I just want to see her.Where is she?"

Mark entered from the kitchen, twisting a reel onto his camera."You can't possibly mean Mimi Marquez.You must mean some washed up supermodel that you woke up under a few times.There's no one like that here."

Choking back tears, Roger approached him."Please Mark," he whispered."Don't make this so hard."

"ME?" squeaked the filmmaker angrily."I didn't do anything!I was right here the entire time.I watched her decrease and decay.I watched her vomit up anything she ever ate in her life.I watched BENNY COFFIN of all people take care of her so well you could have sworn he was her husband.I didn't do a goddamn thing Roger.You did.YOU'RE making this hard—" Mark stopped when he saw Roger's face flood with tears.

"I have to find her…" the musician blubbered."Just help me, Mark…I need to find her…"

"Hey…" Mark softened.He opened his arms and hugged his best friend tightly.Roger sobbed into his shoulder and sputtered incoherent phrases as Mark tried to soothe him."Okay…okay…Mimi is in the hospital.She blacked out last night and she hasn't woken up yet.They don't think she'll make it through the night, man…"

Roger's head snapped up."Of course she will…"

******

_Faster faster green light come on let's go lady keep it up the speed limit is 60 please just hold on Mimi I'll do anything I'll take you out tonight and light your candle god please just don't leave me here alone I'm so sorry just jump over the moon again I need you to jump over the moon Angel please do something just make it so she doesn't go GO lady please hospital exit one song glory your eyes Mimi don't close your eyes GO please exit 56 NY hospital no day but today Mimi please accelerator accelerator I won't stop until I'm there Mimi I'm so sorry faster faster…_

_ _

Next chapter is coming as soon as I can churn it out, r/r please!


	5. The Last Chord

Roger pushed violently through the crowd of nurses.His blue eyes painfully scanned the room numbers until he found the digit that had a sort of heavenly glow on it, a beacon beckoning him forth.

"186…" he breathed, pushing it open.

But instead of meeting the sight of Mimi, Roger came face to face with a set of determined brown eyes that belonged to Benjamin Coffin the Third.

"Well well well," Benny hissed, fists clenched tightly."If it's not the one-hit wonder himself.Come to pay your respects?"He crossed his arms."Get the fuck out of here.You've done enough damage to her for one lifetime.A lifetime, which I may add, is running out quickl—"

Before Benny could finish, Roger's rage overtook him and he shoved Benny into a nearby chair."Shut up, Benny!" he yelled. "I know I fucked up!I know I probably killed the closest thing to an angel that earth ever saw!You don't think I know that, though, do you?Just sit here and let me try to fix what I fucking ruined!"

"Roger?"

Roger closed his eyes and savored the raspy voice.He turned slowly to see Mimi, the covers up to her eyes like a child, peering at him in disbelief.Roger felt his insides melt.Her bony fingers clutched the loosely woven white cotton blanket, and her dead eyes blinked nervously.

"Mimi…" he whispered, releasing Benny and approached her."God…what did I do to you?"He reached out gently to touch her sunken cheek.

Mimi pulled her face away quickly."What are you doing here?" she rasped, clapping her eyes onto the floor and trying to avoid the glance of a man who could melt her resolve with one look.

Roger retracted his rejected hand and sat beside the bed, his cobalt eyes never leaving Mimi once.He was soaking her in.She was scrawny, her face was pale, her hair was wiry and wild, and her joints looked like those of a skeleton.And her eyes.The eyes that Roger found such inspiration in were reduced to pools of mortality.The eyes of someone who knew their fate was to die and it was only a matter of time before they did it.But to Roger, she never looked more beautiful.

"I came to…tell you I…you…I…me…you…Mimi…I was a jerk!"he exclaimed, the tears overflowing."You were the best thing to ever happen to me.Not some song, not some fame and fortune.Just you.God decided to take mercy on my worthless life and send me his best archangel.And me, the eternal ass, neglected her.And God sees that, and he wants to take her back because I was a careless moron."He put his hand over Mimi's and brought it to his lips, kissing it sweetly.

Mimi knew she should have pulled away.She knew she should have kicked him out of her room and died in peace.She wanted to do a lot of things.But she couldn't tear her hand away from Roger's soft kisses and warm lips."Six months, Roger,"she said icily, turning her face away to hide her tears.

"And I regret every day," he said, his voice cracking with emotion."Just please, Mimi…forgive me…and please don't leave me here all by myself."

Mimi's eyes glazed."You won't be alone," she said calmly."You'll have your assistants…and your managers…and your legions of fans who think it's THEIR eyes you're singing about."

"I don't want them!" sobbed Roger, clinging to her hand tightly."All I want is you, Mimi.Please forgive me, God, I can't even forgive myself…"

Mimi's heart burned to take Roger in her arms and tell him everything was going to be alright.But she turned once more."I think you should go."

"No." Roger's weak voice took on an authoritative tone. "I will not leave this room until you tell me you don't love me anymore.Then I'll not only leave this room, I'll leave New York.But I can't start a new life.You ARE my life, Mimi."

Mimi choked back her tears as Roger lay his head in her lap."No!" she screamed."You don't know what you've been doing to me for the past half year!You never called, you never checked in.You abandoned me, Roger.You promised that you would love me forever and you just left me.Fame came and took Mimi's place in your heart.Mark, Collins, Maureen, and Joanne—replaced with lackeys and roadies who would just assume step on your face than look at you when your song isn't famous anymore.I was alone.I almost died.And you never so much as picked up the phone to call and ask me how I was—"Mimi's tirade was interrupted with a fit of coughing.

Roger, shattered by Mimi's speech, was slow to spring into action.He gently rubbed her back and handed her water as she spewed and sputtered out more Spanish obscenities.

Mimi finally stopped coughing and was silent for a moment.Her eyes traveled up to meet Roger's."I can't tell you I don't love you.Because not only would I be lying to you, I'd be lying to myself.So go home for now.My release date is Monday.I'll come over to the loft and we can chat about this little dilemma."

Roger blinked a few times and stood up."Okay," he answered, hurt evident in his voice."Take care, Mimi."He turned slowly and started to walk to the door.

Mimi bit her lip and pulled her blankets around her."Roger?" she called out softly as he neared the doorway.

"Yes?" he replied, turning quickly.

Inhaling sharply, Mimi closed her eyes."Everyday I would lay in bed and Benny would take care of me.And the only thing I would ask for was a radio.Your song would come on all the time, and I would always listen and remember the night when you sang it to me the first time.And for two and a half minutes everyday…I was so proud of my Roger.Even though he deserted me, I was so proud of him."Her voice cracked on her last word and she began to sob.

Roger suddenly sprang forth and buried his face in Mimi's lap and in her cotton blanket.Mimi did nothing to protest, except lay her head on his and stroke his hair.They softly exchanged whispers and Roger held her tightly.

The radio in the corner was louder because of the silence of the room.The closing chords of "Your Eyes" rang out as the right man took Mimi in his arms and kissed her.


End file.
